Control

No one likes a control freak.

But it's weird, isn't it? Control freaks never really think of themselves the way others do. Organized? Yes. Control freak? Never.

Hi, I'm Meredith. I was a control freak.
(Hi, Meredith)

I've gotten better. But now most of my control takes place in my own head. I worry constantly, and sometimes I worry about other people's lives as if they were my own. I hyperfocus on problems. Because a problem equals a loss of control.

Maybe you see yourself in this. I think everyone at least knows someone like this. Control fears manifest in a lot of ways. Maybe you organize everything. Maybe you micromanage or overthink or strive for perfect every time. They're in my experience more common among Soldiers.

I'm not going to tell you to just "let go." It's harder than that. When you feel out of control of yourself, you try to control other things, and vice versa. Being physically or mentally fighting for independence can sometimes feel you're not in control of anything. You feel powerless.

I've been there too.

Next week, I'm giving you action steps. This is a gradual process of acceptance and empowerment. But there are steps.

There is hope. I promise.
In the words of one of my childhood heroes, Winnie the Pooh, "You're braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think."

Telling A Story

Telling A Story


You may be wondering why I skipped a few weeks. A month.
Yeah, I've been wondering that myself.
Why is it when people create things, they feel the need to be wisdom incarnate? Is it because we're afraid to be drowned out in all the other people trying to be wisdom incarnate?
Part of it is my focus on wanting to promote. Put myself out there. There's no use creating something if you don't share it. Of course, for some reason, I haven't gotten far.
Here's my lessons for today: Please don't try to be wise and sagacious. The point of creating is to be real, and to be authentic, to tell a good story. And that will look different for different people.
Once you make something real, your differences don't mean you can't put yourself out there. In fact, many people are drawn to understand what they don't know. The trouble is, they don't know what they don't know. So, tell them!
Be real. And share it.
Easier said than done, but once you start, it gets easier.
That being said, unlike me, you have to start.
So if you excuse me, I'm going to get on that.
Wish me luck!