Disproportionate Guilt

Disproportionate

Guilt

I hate inconveniencing people. For me, there's nothing worse than wasting people's time because of my mistake. Or doing something I perceive as stupid.

I go into what my family calls shame spirals — I dwell on my gaffes to my own detriment.

And you know what? It's psychologically damaging, particularly to my self-esteem. I'm giving my time to a pastime that, if I think about it, is really lame. I could just watch a movie or play badminton.

Consider whether guilt you feel is in line with your situation, or if it's something to be guilty about at all.

It saves a lot of time. Perfect for movie night.

Dignity

Why do you and I, soldiers, think we're lesser?

No, seriously. What makes us think we're less valuable than other people?

We have the exact same amount of value that they do. Why is this so hard to comprehend? To believe? To maintain?

A lot of people have hidden biases. It's a shame, but it's humanity. The fact is the vast majority of discrimination is unintentional. Very few people actively seek to make people feel they have lesser value. Those who do are bullies, and they're likely hurting themselves. Hurting people hurt people.

Check your own biases. And remember your dignity.

Just as much as everyone else. Really.

Superconductivity and The Parable of Power Lines

Superconductivity is my word of the day today. It's the quality of some substances to have zero electrical resistance at temperatures close to absolute zero. In other words, deathly cold.
This got me thinking about some time ago when I saw a parable in power lines.

I see parables and stories everywhere. I can see some sort of truth I'm looking for often right in front of me. I thrive on symbolism and metaphor that seems to be all around me. It's just a gift. Everyone's got one. I figured it might be useful for helping others one day.

I was on my way to a restaurant, and I was enjoying the sprawling pastures and open, vast sky. Running through it all -- always power lines.
Held together by crosses. If you look very closely, you'll see the connectors of the lines are perfect crosses.

Yes, I am a Christian. They can take one central message: Faith should power every, every area of life. It's not a blip on the radar. It's a continuous lifestyle.
 However, even without faith, there are messages to be seen here.
1) All power requires sacrifice. All of it requires faith, in something.
2) What powers you?
I've never understood the phrase "Believe in your power. Believe in yourself" I know people do amazing things, but I've always thought humans are never the sole givers of power. We give power to others, sure. But faith or not, humans are powered by things. We all have an external power source.
3) Inspired by my word of the day today.
Power lines freeze when they get cold.
Some atoms that are superconductive, when very cold but not quite dead and freezing? Electricity courses through them.
For all my talk of power lines, don't be a power line.
Don't freeze when you get cold.

Veil

Why have I not blogged?

Well, I've got a lot on my mind.

It seems to me Soldiers are very sensitive people. In that vein, I finished off the year with a lot of feelings.

Sometimes, feelings are like a veil. They're so strong they influence almost everything you look at. You start to see the world by what you feel.

Take from me in this new year: You are not your feelings. Your worldview doesn't have to be affected by sadness, anger, anxiety, or even pride. Look beyond those veils; question them.

See the world with good and bad, acknowledge both, and focus on the good. Pain doesn't leave by ignoring it; nor does your pain mean all good is now absent.

See the world as it really is. But don't dwell on the bad in what you see.

Or, if it seems impossible, try.

It'll get easier.